I am not a church going Christian, and have no shame in my beliefs. Many people have no clue where my personal beliefs are, my own family is unaware of why I feel the way I do about some things…. kind of crazy when you think of how out spoken I am.
I am a true believer in living and teaching by example.
Do onto others as you would have done on to you.
Mike and I struggle with his daughter Lisa. Lisa at some point over the last 24 months has decided that I am the enemy. She has put things into her head that are only half truths and things that make absolutely no sense. She lied to her father and when he told her he knew the truth the war was on.
She recently wrote her father a letter – going on and on with her lies and her finger pointing. It is a sad commentary of someone that claims to be a Christian. I am not sure how anyone can be as pig headed and believe their own lies as she can.
She believes that her father chose me over her – there was never a decision – he chose the truth over her lies. He saw and heard first hand the lies and hate she has. She sat in court so wrapped up into wanting to hate that she could not even realize that she had pushed me to the point of being willing to leave my marriage to make her happy. She was so wrapped up into her own plot that she was too self absorbed to realize she had won the war. When she had to take it one step further…. that step pushed her father over the edge -
Lisa you claim to be upset about losing your father – funny thing is he has gone no where – his phone works just fine – he spends a lot of time alone – and you have to be able to play the victim -
I remember the way you treated your mom – I remember the way you treated your sister – I have watched your cold halfheartedness attempts to show affection. I watched you ruin your marriage – I watched you use your children to hurt others -
Lisa – a few words to you – I forgive you – without any conditions – I forgive you – I am still heart broken – but I forgive you -
Lisa;
Your letter to your dad arrived today – what a class act! I am amazed at how much hate and discontent you have. You make statements that are not true, you carry a hatred that is unhealthy. You can blame me all you need to – I am sure that makes it easier for you.
Your father’s phone does have a ringer – and when and if you were to ever call he would have most likely answered it. You put the blame on him – you put the blame on me – but you take zero responsibility for anything you have done. You are the one that lied in court, you are the one that has continued to think there is someone or something out to get to you – you are the one that carries this hatred with you.
I am nothing to you! that is fine – I have nothing to give you anymore so that does not surprise me. I hope someday you can find peace and change your views – until then – I hope you have an amazing life, marriage and your kids grow up to be the awesome people they can be.
Life is short and we all make choices that lead our life down different paths. Sometimes finding the right path is more difficult than any other time in life. We do the best we can and hope it is the right choice. Sometimes we wish we could go back and chose a different direction. Many times going backwards is not an option but that does not mean we have to continue to head down a path of destruction.
As in many things sometimes just stepping off to the side we can see a different path. Sometimes this path can be to the side sometimes it is just a V in the road and is not always easy to see. This week a lot of my friends are on a path that will change their lives forever. My hope for them is that they can stop, look, listen and realize that there are other paths available. That the love that surrounds them is special, that nothing matters other than them, their family and to remember – For Better or Worse – this will just be a blip on the screen later in life. I love you and know that I am thinking of you.
In 39 days, myself and my daughters will step foot on an airplane taking us to Orlando Florida. The trip is the 3rd annual Girls Only Cruise… Something my sister Dawna started more than 3 years ago but only became an annual event three years ago. We always have a great time, and spending time with my sister has always been one of the highlights of my year.
This year, our cruise has grown, and boy has it grown…. I am the oldest of 8 children from mixed marriages…. this year’s girls cruise all of my sisters will be on the same ship at the same time… many of them have never met. I am the only one that has met them each and knows them all…
I am excited to spend 3 days with my sisters and their daughters – 39 days and counting
For some reason this week it seems that I have fallen victim of both passing judgment on others and having judgment passed on me. I am not a “religious” person by nature and gave up on organized religion years ago. Because of how others in most churches judge those in the congregation by their own values.
Having a blended family with multiple blended families making up the group I call, sisters, mothers, and fathers, kids, grand kids it can get confusing, some have even said I need a spreadsheet to keep track. We were all brought up differently, and we all have different values. Not one of us have the ability or the right to say what another is doing is right or wrong. As individuals we do what is best for us.
However, when those we love make accusations, and judge another loved one, on rumor or suspicion we set ourselves up for failure. To believe or spread the rumor that someone in our family is using drugs, and try and set them up is not a fair or positive thing to do. The repercussions of the set up can affect more than the person you are attempting to help. Criminal records, danger and the possibility of discovering you were wrong can have huge affects on everyone.
Remember what you do today can impact you and those close to you for years to come. Instead of being sneaky, involving others, why not just face the suspension directly. I love you all, and hope you are truly thinking about what is best for you and your family. Haven’t we all been through enough drama and isn’t it time we start taking care of each other again.
I come from a pretty dysfunctional family you seriously need an Excel spreadsheet to keep track who is related to who and why we are related. The really fun thing about coming from such dysfunction is that you learn to accept things for what they are and accept people for who they are.
My sister Dawna is the perfect example of this. Dawna is always the encouraging sister, she is the organizer and she has always seen the best in all of us. She is the sister that makes me feel good no matter how bad I felt in the beginning. Dawna, has never showed disappointment in me, although I am sure that there have been disappointments throughout our lives, she has always kept the conversations up beat, positive and given me encouragement that few in my life have.
I am currently sitting in the Denver Airport, and have about an hour to reflect on this last week. Why do I feel so good when I am with Dawna and her family, why am at at such peace, and why is making better decisions so much easier when I am with Dawna. You would think she was the older sister, she has taught me so much in life. Dawna is the queen of saving a dollar, she is the queen of shaving a calorie and she is a queen in her house hold.
During my stay this week she said something that I do not think she has a clue impacted me and I hope my own life an marriage. Dawna in passing said “the key to a successful marriage is to act like you are dating. If you would not do something to your boyfriend or girlfriend than you should not do it to your husband or wife.” Now we have all heard the old sayings about always being on your honey moon and stuff like that…. but what does any of it mean? Dawna’s comment is in my opinion the SECRET to a happy marriage.
Thank you Dawna once again, you helped bring me back to center, you recharged my batteries and you have me ready to work on being a better me. Making Better Decisions along the way. Thanks for being there for me….. even when you do not realize you are.
